30 DAYS OF GRATITUDE: DAY 7 – BE PASSIONATE TO HIM.
DAY 7: BE PASSIONATE TO HIM
Woo-hoo! I love this day!
I love this topic as much as it gives some church folks strange jitters. I wonder why, yet SEX was created as a beautiful pleasurable gift by the Lord. SEX is not an evil that marriage permits, but a good gift that thrives in marriage. The church should therefore be on the front lines to deconstruct the EVIL lies and twisted half-truths, thrown off the assembly lines by the evil one. The one who distorts all manner of God’s pleasures, for he has none under his sleeves, the devil.
God created SEX as a powerful tool to bond a husband to his wife, and together, they become one. It’s a beautiful picture to behold, how God could create such a powerful emotion to reveal such powerful depths of His essence.
He is the Lord God who loves passionately and intimately. His metaphors always revolving around the family setup.
He is not narrow-minded or prissy about it. God is the God of pleasure (Psalm 16:11), He designed SEX and gifts it to us as a good gift.
He is not shamefaced about it, nor does He look the other way, when he sees a husband and wife naked before each other. He longs for a husband to yearn for his wife and a wife to yearn for her husband. That is His miracle and He perfectly articulates it in the Holy Scriptures of Songs of Solomon. If you doubt it, get to study that book.
Genesis 2:23 paints us a beautiful picture between a husband and a wife, bonded together in purpose, passion and love for each other. Eve was the object of admiration to Adam. She was the source of the first poetry that was ever recorded. Nothing is more pleasurable, more beautiful, more sacred than a husband and wife enjoying each other in their sacred matrimonial bed.
God longs for us to have depths in how we relate to each other, and more so, he is very interested in the health of our sexual intimacy in marriage. It’s not just a good thing, but a GOD thing.
It is not just about fulfilling a drive or desire. SEX in marriage is not about surfeiting a sexual craving, but its indeed worship.
An act that causes you to die to yourself and please your spouse. SEX teaches you to be a servant lover, not just one who is driven by his/her own desires. That is the difference between lust and love. Love gives, lust gets.
Fellow wife, can you say that you have been passionate to your husband? Have you told him about your longing towards him? Does he struggle to reach out to you intimately? Is he always the one initiating SEX in your marriage? Have you put your passion at the back seat in your marriage and are just operating within your “roles?”
It’s time to get your grove back. Ask the Lord to enable you be passionate to your husband in ways that he adores and loves.
Be responsive to him, especially intimately.
I love Dr. Leman’s book – Sheet Music. He really retaliated my thoughts and direction regarding sexual intimacy in marriage.
He says that really, most men, actually all men want to be heroes before their wives. In as much as he advances to you sexually, most of the time, he just wants to genuinely please you. I do not refute that there are really narcissistic husbands out there. Husbands who care less about listening to their wives.
But if your marriage is on a low ebb, do not use SEX as a weapon to push your husband into your bidding.
The devil is a fowler. He can ensnare us when we least think and expect.
The HolySpirit quickly inspired Paul to write in 1st Corinthians 7:5 – Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.
The marriage bed is place of mutuality, not simply getting. Don’t settle for a passionless marriage.
If your husband has shut down on you, or you feel that he doesn’t desire you any more, pray. I know it sounds like cliché, but it’s not. Prayer give you direction and insight as to what may have contributed to his lack of sensitivity towards you.
Secondly, remind yourself of ways he has always wanted you to reach out to him. Retrace your tracks again.
Did he love your unexpected kisses? Unexpected hugs? Have you stopped being an encouragement to him? Is it some pressure from his work place? Is lack of forgiveness a cause? Could you possibly take him on a romantic dinner? Did he want a certain project finished yet you didn’t? Are the children taking the center stage in your marriage and he’s sort of benched? Are you always tired? What routine could you adjust to accommodate your “us” time?
Anything could be a hindrance. Ask the Lord to give you grace to handle it.
Be a willing change factor by probing into the murk of that issue.
Be patient. Remember hard nuts need consistency and patience to crack then open. Slowly with the words of grace, gently with the word of love and consistently with your acts, he will turn around.
Do not settle for a passionless marriage. Ignite the spark!
You might ask me, “Why should I probe him, why can’t he see?” Remember the point of this journey. It’s not for us to change our husbands’ deficiencies. We cannot do it. We are so limited.
We are surrendering that card or those cards to Him every day. The Lord is to work on our behalf, we are only the willing change catalysts!
D.I.Y: Send him texts the whole day and remind him that he is your desire and passion. If you can get off work today earlier, put the kids to bed earlier, dine out. dine indoors with candles while the kids are asleep, put your phones down, get a sensual perfume for yourself, change into something alluring, you might have some 20 minutes of heart to heart talk – you never know, there could be passionate music in the sheets tonight!
Go point: Be plain and clear about your longing towards him! Go straight to the point –hit the notes right.
VERSE OF THE DAY: Song of Songs 7:10 I am my beloved’s, and his desire is for me.
I admit that the passion in our marriage is slowly fading into oblivion. I know that you created SEX for us as a gift to bond us together and infuse us into each other. Yet we seem to be dying. The rut of life is pulling us apart. Our marital bed is cold and paralyzed.
So many things distract us Lord, and we have put our marriage on auto-pilot mode, not really working hard towards having a thriving passionate marriage.
Today Lord, I pray for the grace to turn the wheels around. Give me the grace to be passionate to my husband. Give me the grace to reach out to him and yearn for him. Make my heart, my body and spirit healthy to love him unreservedly. Give me wisdom on how to change some routines.
I pray that I will be a willing change-factor.
Release me from wrong thinking, lack of forgiveness, bitterness, negative thoughts and emotions that would cause my desire for him to die down. Fill us with passion for one another Lord, once more.
In Jesus name I pray.