To the Men,

Am excited this morning, exhausted, still a bit jaded but fulfilled by what the Lord did over the weekend. About the event, we laughed, we were edified, we were rebuked and we will talk about it later on.

But today, I want to point out a critical observation we made.
I know it’s not going to go down well with the men, but it’s a hard truth. The truth will set us free – John 8:32

Men, generally think they know, everything. I know that, I have experienced it. Well, with their domineering nature, it’s natural for them to act so. It is very godly; we cannot go against what is innate in men.

With that said, men are predisposed to never want to appear weak, again its natural. However, God made them so for a very critical purpose.

A man’s strength, masculinity or virility, is showcased in servitude not in lordship nor in dictatorship. Greatness in all manner of appearance, may seem weak, surrender, even death, yet therein lies its truest form.

See, ask a man about sex and he might explain to you in detailed graphic terms how to play the cards right to hit it right. But put him in a scenario where he’s supposed to give INTIMACY – and not just SEX or getting personal gratification first, it’s a conundrum. A whole cauldron.

Men simply don’t like to ask because it feels as if its weak, surrender, total annihilation of their masculinity. Yet, God did not make the man to be all in one. Marriage is a mystery as Paul said.
We are still yet to unravel a lot even with the seasons Johnny and i have gone through.

I love how he seeks out knowledge and wisdom, not only from God, but men who have gone before him.

While in your singleness, dear brother, you might think you know, but wait until you begin to walk with another faulty, flawed, sinful, human being with a goal of marriage. Complexities begin.

In the course of our ministry, we have come across young people who think they know it all– too entitled to a point of arrogance – so what my hubby and I do, is simply to wish them well and take a back seat and watch!

Men, you do not know it all and it’s alright. It is fine to step down from your pedestal and seek godly counsel from other men of substance. You will be bond to do less mistakes. You will grow your knowledge bank!

God created you for intimacy, to be known and to know, to learn and to understand, to grasp and to further, to seize and to conquer.
All these lead to depth and depth isn’t just a patch. To get depth, you have to labor, toil, sweat off, and overcome adversity- you have to seek.

Men showed up we hailed those who showed up, they showed up, and men who show up always get counted! But, the gap was glaring.

It begs some questions like, where do men get their knowledge from? Who defines their identity? Sadly, most of them, get their identity, not from men of substance, but from men who seem to have “made it big”, defined by things, albeit their lack of flavor. It’s sad.

It’s creates a huge gap. Here is a lady who is too equipped being hustled into a relationship with a man who knows nothing at all about a relationship, [except by the society’s standards of marriage and sex], and is so ill equipped.

No wonder you have men talking about “testing” if the lady is wife material by cooking and washing his boxers. Or living together first, without the covenant of marriage, to ascertain wife qualities.

So if you stay together and quarrel after 3 months, does that disqualify her? It’s shallow.

Character is tested by seasons, not an event or a chore!

Of course the relationship with begin hemorrhaging 4, 5, 6 months down.
He will label her arrogant, and too aggressive, and yet he’s simply a fearful man, so ill equipped for marriage and of being vulnerable.

He is a man who has never faced his own dark shadows, nor walked neck to neck with his fears until he learns to trust in a power that outdoes his masculinity.

He has never faced his own frailties, so when a lady begins to point out some flaws that would definitely compromise their relationship, he says to her “you want to change me! “

Men! A man is man enough if he can admit his frailties and willingness to be better. Period. Men rise up. Time for passive leadership is done!

Passive leadership is not what she is looking for – a man whose circle of influence is only next door, knows every betting spot in town, latest X-box games, latest series, but zero knowledge about leading a woman well and protecting her before and after marriage!

Led her and led her well! I’ve seen men of combat crawl in battle, wounded, but still holding their fort with their legs broken and their sinews torn.

As aggressive as you are about seeking material gains, be more aggressive in investing in yourself too. Don’t be so sucked up to getting your ducks in a row in regards to things and you forget the main conduit through “all those things” flow, your heart.

You need to invest in yourself. Find knowledge. She’s not looking for a man to cultivate. That was done by your momma. She’s looking for a man of substance, who will nurture, nourish and cherish her according to Ephesians 5.

You cannot nurture anything unless your soil is fertile enough!

Men, choose meaningful over urgent.

Invest highly on your heart, gain wisdom, you will build your marriage, gain knowledge, you will establish it, gain understanding, wealth will come!


We are John and Mary Munene and we love the Lord! Christ is our all in all! All we are is by God’s grace. Apart from having our individual careers, we are ardent bloggers, authors and misters of God's word. We have been blessed with two amazing children. A beautiful daughter and a handsome son. We love adventure, anything with lots of adrenaline is always a ‘go-thing’ for us! A cup of coffee next to a fireplace and a good book always does good to our souls! Hope you enjoy this blog!

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We are John and Mary Munene and we…