I cannot begin saying NO to caresses and petting before marriage without telling you where this all stems from. Its bitter roots. This is sac. DECEITFULNESS.

Sin is deceitful. It doesn’t come hooded in black, embodied in black, announcing to all and sundry that it’s come. Sin is deceitful. It creeps in stealthily. It unpacks slowly, sits quietly, dines meticulous on your soul -then and only then, does it reveal itself.

Even with good dispositions, sin has a way of entangling us into its death nest.

The book of Genesis 2:18, recounts how God made the first man Adam, and his wife Eve. God made Eve out of Adam. She was perfect. I think she really was. If Adam burst forth with a doxology full of praise for Eve, she must have been the epitome of God’s perfection. Their marriage was indeed GOD MADE, practically speaking, and God gave her as the first bride to Adam.

There was no sin.

There were no stains to be washed by the blood of Jesus. No immorality, no corruption, no perverted attitudes, just peace. There was a perfect harmony in the garden of Eden, for God would walk in the cool of day in that same garden. God’s presence was real.

But even in that perfection, in that tranquility, the serpent, cunningly outwitted Eve who took no notice of the devil’s deceitfulness. I wonder, what if the devil came roaring all out on Eve, would she be willing to partake the fruit? I doubt.

The Bible says in 2nd Corinthians 11:14, that the enemy comes as an angel of light. He doesn’t come as a dark scary shadow, walking and howling, cowed down by our famous yet powerless tag, ‘am saved’– but he comes as a bright light, bright enough to resemble the true light, but he isn’t. How then could we be gullible to think that we could escape the devils trap by our own strength? Just because we are “saved” enough, or we speak with the heavenly tongues?

Let’s not deceive ourselves, he is full of schemes, and we are cautioned not to be ignorant of his devices 2nd Corinthians 2:11.

He didn’t startle, he didn’t flutter his words nor quiver at the thought of corrupting what he clearly knew was pure, he was undaunted at his grime mission. To separate man from the glory of His creator.

Matching on with fortitude, he whispered, “Did God really say that …”

See, there and then, the seed of doubt was planted in Eve. She began to question, to parley, to argue, “Did God really say, that I must not eat from any tree in the garden?” [Emphasis put]– Genesis 3:3.

I think she continued on, “Why would God not let us have this fruit?”

“For God knows that when you eat from it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.”Genesis 3:5. Oh this prowling spirit! The devil was quick to root in the seed!

The answer was a perfect tune to Eve’s ears. “Oh yes! God really is selfish! He wouldn’t want us to be like Him and that is why he is withholding this from us!” She reached out her hand, took the fruit, ate, and gave some to her husband Adam.

Sin did not come as sin. Sin doesn’t come boldly at us. That is what we all need to understand here. Satan will not hold a placard with red bold letters written, “YOU ARE ABOUT TO FORNICATE” or “HERE IS ADULTERY, DO IT!” No!

He knows if he comes in such a manner, none of us would be a willing participant. So he masquerades as an angle of light – 2nd Corinthians 11:14. Yes, that is what the bible says. That is to say, it is not obvious that you will fornicate the first time you kiss, or pet each other. That is his road. He is alright with that. If you happen to fall into sin on the first instance, he has got his easy trophy bagged in.

However, we have to know that is mantra is “SLOW BUT SURE”. That’s his best bet.

If sin overcame Lucifer, the morning-star, one who worshiped before the King of Kings and the Lord of all lords, if sin overcame a third of the angels, that they were cast down from the presence of the Almighty, how shielded are we from it? How then can we wear a pretentious face at the face of its deceitfulness?

“Kissing, fondling, petting, what is wrong with all these if we are keen on marriage?” Well, here is what is wrong with it, it is sin’s cosmetic face. It’s the prelude. It’s the preliminary of what is to come. The truth is that, sin has approached, and yet, we cannot see it because it does not uncover all its hideousness, nor reveal its horrible consequences.

Sin is deceitful and so are our hearts – Jeremiah 17:9. It comes to us subtly, offering us numerous advantages. It stirs our intellect with questions or inquiries.

It encourages us to doubt any existing penalties, after all, “Who died out of kissing?”, “I love this man or woman, what is so wrong with expressing it to them?”, “Who will know?”, “I cannot get pregnant just by a simple touch.” “We aren’t having sex, just petting.” How savory it is to the enemy as we keep dipping in our finger into the ‘sweet jar’ of sin.

Sins deceitfulness makes you think of that you are not committing any fault nor even thinking about it. It coats the lustful thoughts with the icing called “being in love”, that you relish in them. Yes, you haven’t committed any fornication yet, but the lustful thoughts seem pleasant to the imagination.

The fact that you already on sin’s deceitful radar, means that all your guards are down. The HolySpirit has been hushed down and consequently, the voice of Christ has been cluttered by the static of lust – it is having confidence in the flesh, thinking that you will escape the trap of fornication. That in its very essence, is sin.

Remember that the biggest sexual battle is won in our minds.

Before sin manifests, its already conceived. It then grows into desire, desire grows to purpose, and purpose births the act.

So let’s be real, do you think it’s wise for you two, who are not married, to kiss, fondle, pet or caress? I strongly advice against it.

The Bible says that the marriage bed should be honored and it doesn’t begin after “I DO” it begins way before. In our singleness. It extends to our dating, courtship, and its an ongoing battle in marriage.

The bible says that single believers should set an example to all believers in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith and in purity. 1st Timothy 4:12, God honors that.

Purity therefore doesn’t begin when you find a prospective spouse but way before finding them. It should be your lifestyle by the time you are set for marriage. It doesn’t mean that you will have to maintain a 5 meter gap between you and your loved one, but that self control has be exercised to tap what is in us.



We are John and Mary Munene and we love the Lord! Christ is our all in all! All we are is by God’s grace. Apart from having our individual careers, we are ardent bloggers, authors and misters of God's word. We have been blessed with two amazing children. A beautiful daughter and a handsome son. We love adventure, anything with lots of adrenaline is always a ‘go-thing’ for us! A cup of coffee next to a fireplace and a good book always does good to our souls! Hope you enjoy this blog!


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We are John and Mary Munene and we…