There is a misconception doing rounds that the wife is the main builder of the home. A false truth it is. I have heard people say that the man plays a very minute role in gelling and growth of the family.
Nothing can be further from the truth and due such misapprehended arguments, many a men have laid back and only watch the ‘builder’ of the home works her thing! The modern man is at the periphery of the family and to compensate for this, he is out there ‘building the nation, establishing an empire and creating his own legacy’. Consequently, he leaves most of the responsibilities of nurturing of his family to his wife, after all, she handles them better…
My dad once told me that just as one who wants to build a house gives the plan to a contractor who translates the plan into an architectural frame and later builds with the resources given to him by the owner, so is a husband and a wife.
Just as the contractor comes in to translate one’s dream into a reality, so is the wife to a husband. But here is the catch, she will only help her husband build a home if he already has started BUILDING it.
The vision concerning how and what a family should entail, first rests with God, then the man and consequently the man and wife.
The man shares his vision of marriage and family to his fiancée during courtship.
The two marry their expectations and together come up with a better version of vision. They agree to walk and work together towards the realization of this mutually crafted vision.
The woman was created as a helper; to help the husband build his marriage and family, and together subdue the earth, having dominion over it.
My wife came into my life to help.
She found me building myself for her and our future.
It was easy for her to join in and help us accomplish our vision. My vision and hers were to have a fruitful marriage, cater to each other and be each other’s lifetime companion. To love each other unconditionally.
She came and found me working. Yes, I didn’t have a job since I was still in campus, but I was working on my present and future. I was working to safeguard my values. I was investing in marriage by stocking up! I was investing in my character. I was already building our home. I was working for the Lord and my desire was to please Him. I was not in stagnancy. I was in the process of becoming what God intended me to be! It was easy for her to follow my lead.
It’s not to early to start building your family neither is it too late to make amends.
Regardless of your season, whether single, courting or married, we’ve got to Work.
We can retire from our jobs but never from being a man.
That’s our God given Work.
To be the man.
To model godly values.
To be men of integrity.
Men of strength.
Men of good repute.
Men of character.
Men of valor.
This is Work. This is how we build our houses.
This is how we fortify our empires.
When we do this, the woman will easily fit in and help us BUILD.