It’s easy to overlook a red flag during courtship. There’s always a feeling that he or she will change after you both say ‘I do’. Basing the future on a feeling is tragic. Many a times we shy off from asking the hard questions during courtship and subsequently in marriage. 

We fail to ask why his phone is always locked and doesn’t want to give you the unlimited access. We shy off from asking who she’s chatting and giggling with when she’s around you. We see indications of danger but we don’t want to disturb the peace. It’s a time bomb. 

Ask the questions that may seem uncomfortable but in the end will liberate your soul and give you peace in the future. Some little discomfort for the sake of unending bliss is a small price to pay. 

Can he account for his time, money and emotions? Can she account for her list of male friends and why she’s keeping them? Can he account for the last 10 years, who he has been with and why they parted? Can she be candid about her past too? Are there missing links, dark corners or unresolved issues?

Every area must be explored and conclusively handled. If not, it will be like a sand particle which is somewhat bearable with a first few steps of a marathon but as it progresses, it becomes uncomfortable, bogs you down, blisters the soles of your feet and has to be removed in order for you to endure the run.

Marriage is a marathon. A marathon requires comfortable shoes with enough cushioning and flexibility but can be ruined by an alien miniature body! 

So don’t ignore the red flags. Don’t sweep unresolved issues under the carpet. One day they will stink the whole house.

Talk, talk and talk about everything because it matters. 

Communicate relentlessly. 

It will be worth it! 

#MarriageWorks  #Godspeed 

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We are John and Mary Munene and we…