One of my biggest struggles in marriage, apart from submission, was forgiveness.
I can keep track records of everything. Literally every single detail including the shirt won, dress won, what was around, who walked by and the list goes on and on.

But that same strength of keeping records, was my weakness.
I kept record of every tiny spat, tiffs, hard rubs, and my heart grew bitter towards my husband. At some point I resented him[sad that I allowed myself to get there].

My husband on the other hand has a gift of letting go.
He hardly let’s another minute pass holding an offense.
Of course it doesn’t mean that he let’s people walk over him, but he deals with it, releases the offense and gets going.

I asked him to pray for me and teach me how to put the “handbrake” of forgiveness on.
At the same time, I asked the Lord to teach me how to let go of offenses.

It’s been an INTENTIONAL journey for me.
I deliberately choose to verbalize every hurt and say, “I choose to forgive you for doing a, b, c. “
It’s great how the Lord meets us at our point of need when we step out in faith.

With time, it became a part of me, I now no longer needed to verbalize it, but it flowed freely from a changed heart.
We have to let God deal with our habits to change our hearts.

God doesn’t want to just deal with our symptoms but the root cause of our spiritual illness. Bitterness stems out from a heart yoked to unforgiveness.

I can confidently say that forgiveness, as much as it never flows naturally out of me, it outpours from a heart filled to the brim with the fruit of Christ – because I choose to forgive.

Wives, do not let your husband’s shortcomings to title your marriage.
You too can learn from Christ.

To forgive is divine and without that, the heart falls short of intimacy, totally free to be soul naked and unashamed.


We are John and Mary Munene and we love the Lord! Christ is our all in all! All we are is by God’s grace. Apart from having our individual careers, we are ardent bloggers, authors and misters of God's word. We have been blessed with two amazing children. A beautiful daughter and a handsome son. We love adventure, anything with lots of adrenaline is always a ‘go-thing’ for us! A cup of coffee next to a fireplace and a good book always does good to our souls! Hope you enjoy this blog!



    The thing is not to have too much expectations then forgiveness comes naturally

    • Mary Munene

      Mercy, forgiveness is not NATURAL, it is very UNNATURAL. God calls us to do things that are contrary to our human nature. By our nature, forgiveness, is not a natural thing. We desire vengeance. Well, every human being has expectations, but whether they are addressed or not, its not contingent on forgiveness. Its true, we should not peg all our expectations on a human being otherwise, one might et very disappointed, however, one cannot NOT have expectations – you only learn to adjusts them through seasons of marriage.
      Thank you for your thoughts on this! God bless you!

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We are John and Mary Munene and we…