Our husbands carry an enormous responsibility from Christ. Leading the family and standing in the gap on behalf of the family is hard. Being the first in line to take in the lash of God for a family not displaying His glorious beauty is hard.

We may think that submitting is hard, but headship is actually harder. He bears the full responsibility of the family. If he doesn’t lead on well, if he mistreats you as his wife, his prayers are hindered –1st Peter 3:7, that is not easy.

With that weight on their shoulders, coupled by the responsibilities to provide, to protect, to lead both in service and in giving can weigh them down completely. It’s no wonder that God saw it was not good for a man to be alone and made a suitable helper. – Genesis 2:18.

You, as his wife, comes in as his helper, a suitable helper for that matter, to help him carry the vision of your marriage and family. You are his armor bearer.

Armor bearers in the Old testament were selected by Kings (who were warriors too) not only because of their bravery or to bear their armor, but also to stand by them in the time of danger.

They had such an important duty in the lives of the reigning kings, and no king would go to war without his armor bearer.

Ask yourself Mrs. Do you help your husband through the turns of life or are you quick to rate him out? Do you feel like helping out your husband is more like hugging a porcupine? Then you need to die to yourself Mrs.

Most husbands need nothing more than to be strengthened by their wives, by helping them get off some weight off their shoulder.

So instead of feeling as if you are hugging a huge porcupine, why don’t you ask your husband today, “Hunnie, how can I be of help to you today?”


First, be available to your husband. If he needs a listening ear, give it. If he needs you to run an errand, move it to the top of your priority list.

If he needs attention, give it. If he needs a cup of tea, make it! If he needs a back rub, be up for it! Since you accepted to be his wife, then you must be available to serve in that capacity. You must understand the level of commitment that is required and follow through on your commitment.

Secondly, be in position to help. Being in position is more than just showing up. It will require you to be armed with the tools of help.

It entails being present spiritually, mentally, physically, financially, socially, psychologically, and emotionally. You must show up alert, spiritually in tune, emotionally stable and intact. If you are spiritually alert, then any behavior change will trigger your spiritual antenna.

You will ask the Lord of ways to attend to him, not just moving along with your responsibility as if you are being forced.

Thirdly, you must be willing. It’s one thing to be married, and another to be a present and active wife. Your willingness to serve goes a long way. There are many married women – physically showing because of their rings, but their hearts and attitude reflects nothing close to being virtuous wives.

Skill is great but when service comes out of a begrudging (resenting having to serve) heart it taints the gift even when coming from the most skillful.

You could have the prettiest face, be so beautiful and attractive, but in marriage, physical characteristics do not surfeit. A heart of service is what will keep a marriage going. We must adorn ourselves with a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the Lord’s sight1st Peter 3:4.

We must see our lives through a kingdom perspective as wives. We must be willing to lay our lives down for the benefit of our marriage.

So go again and say, “Hunnie, how can I be of help today?” even if it’s the hardest thing you ever said to your not-so- appreciative husband.

Here’s is death to ourselves as wives again!




We are John and Mary Munene and we love the Lord! Christ is our all in all! All we are is by God’s grace. Apart from having our individual careers, we are ardent bloggers, authors and misters of God's word. We have been blessed with two amazing children. A beautiful daughter and a handsome son. We love adventure, anything with lots of adrenaline is always a ‘go-thing’ for us! A cup of coffee next to a fireplace and a good book always does good to our souls! Hope you enjoy this blog!

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We are John and Mary Munene and we…