I remember our titan clash with my husband on “what to invest in” like it was yesterday. I was never an enthusiastic cheerleader on his choices. He can tell you how I made him feel miserable about his career choice (but I learnt and was so repentant about it). Therein lies that danger of being too pushy and overbearing.

It’s easy to love him when all he says is yes, yes, yes to your demands.

It’s easy to love him when he’s at his best and hasn’t caused you any jitters regarding certain investment(s). It’s easy.

But what about when he cannot listen and is so rigid?

What about when he is obstinate and simply fixated to what he wants, rather than weighing in all choices presented to him?

I lacked wisdom on how to approach my husband in our earlier marriage days. I thought shouting a project down, watering it down, or being uninterested will make him see my point. Well, it costed us our peace and happiness for some time – and definitely a loss.

I have made that mistake in my marriage once. But then the Lord taught me again. Demonstrating respect to him, is as simple as articulating your counter opinion with grace, encouraging his endeavors as you pray that the Lord will reveal to him what might be the “blind spots.”

Works! I have never looked back.

Most husbands – even the most difficult ones – do listen to their wives who know “how to” address pertinent issues with grace and still regard them with honor – without making them feel as if they are skunks. It makes them feel respected. His deepest longing, dear wife, is to feel respected by the woman he has chosen to stand by till death does them part.

To be truly patient, gracious and gentle towards a husband who acts unloving or unbecoming is an altogether special assignment — one not only taught by Jesus, but modeled too.

He spent much of His time on earth with the not-so-popular people –the undeserving.

He touched the lepers. He granted dignity to the prostitute. He welcomed children and the tax collectors and those whom society rejected. Jesus modeled upside-down living and loving, and He urges us, as wives, to do the same.

When love lances out to the deep, it calms the tides of a marriage, it heals the broken places. It makes masterpieces out of the forgotten, it quietens the chaos. It unclutters the heart. But most of all, it changes what seems unchangeable.

Love becomes the emblem of a marriage, a force that no hatred can stand against, if one heart is willing to serve.

Does he want his way? Find your “how to” talk to him – be gracious and full of respect to him.

Does he want to buy an IPhone X while you have an old phone that screeches when its ringing? Find the gracious words on your lips to channel him back to you.

Instead of being so mad at him not “getting” your needs right, how about being that gracious teacher like Christ was.

The Bible says that His words are very near us. It is in our mouth and in our heart, so that we can do it- Deuteronomy 30:14.

God can teach you how to talk to your husband in whichever season you are in. He only needs us to die to ourselves that He might increase. Say it today, “Hunnie, I love and respect you because….”

Die again!




We are John and Mary Munene and we love the Lord! Christ is our all in all! All we are is by God’s grace. Apart from having our individual careers, we are ardent bloggers, authors and misters of God's word. We have been blessed with two amazing children. A beautiful daughter and a handsome son. We love adventure, anything with lots of adrenaline is always a ‘go-thing’ for us! A cup of coffee next to a fireplace and a good book always does good to our souls! Hope you enjoy this blog!


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We are John and Mary Munene and we…