My Journey of Marriage-Part 4

Hey lovelies! The end is here…

  • I have to make every day memorable.

Well, some people would think coming from work at 6 PM getting home by 8-9 and going straight to the kitchen is a big deal.
It’s not.
For someone like me, with a husband who has a sensitive and sacrificial career, I have come to treasure each moment with him, and I certainly don’t find it a bother.
Share your life together, travel together, walk, cook, watch a movie, rub his back, dance for him around the house, take selfies when stuck in traffic, play hide and seek in the house, be goofy.
You can never be too old for each other. I mean, marriage is about enjoying everyday life together.
You will be shocked how those small details go a long way in strengthening your bond.
Be Best Friends Forever! Be forever young in each other’s eyes!

  • I have come to learn to be discreet.

Women are told to be discreet in their homes, but so should men. Your marital issues should be between the two of you.
Don’t involve your parents, of either side, don’t. It causes your husband to lose his respect to your parents and you lose respect to his parents too.
Don’t involve your children either!
Don’t dare disrespect your husband in the presence of your kids! That’s out rightly wrong, and foolish of you dear!
If anything cannot be solved, involve your closest couple, a counselor, your pastor or priest. Parents should be the last resort. They too learnt to grow.
You can’t breastfeed forever. Learn to take “potatoes”, “ugali”, and soon you will be crushing bones.
Keep your marital issues from your girlfriends, from the office talk, from the “muchene” in the salon. Unless you are advising someone, please do not wash your dirty linen in public.
Talk to God He will sort your wife, He will sort your husband.

  • Learn to be the first to give Love.

There is so much in giving than receiving. I have come to realize that as I continue to love my hubby unreservedly, he reciprocates even more than I could ever expect.
You don’t need to wait till her birthday to surprise her with flowers, or her favorite handbag, her cologne, taking her out on a romantic evening.
It doesn’t need to be an occasion.
You need not wait for his promotion to get him a Timberland watch, or the Giorgio Armani collection, or cook his favorite meal. It doesn’t hurt to spoil your man.
Complement him wherever and whenever. You have no idea what it does to him.
He feels admired, he feels your affirmation, the result, is a 5 start treat, happy you every day!

  • Look good for your husband.

Of course looking good is not looking trashy. He is your husband.
He loves it when you have some lipstick on, apply it.
He loves your natural hair, maintain it. He loves you in little dresses, wear them. He loves you in shorts, why not?
He is still a man, was a man even before he got you to his house.
Maintain yourself, maintain your hygiene, and look good for your man!

  • Maintain a Home that’s clean with the right atmosphere

It shocks me when I go visit someone and the whole place smells like garbage.
Mark you, there’s a lady in the house. Yes there are homes like that.
A clean house with the right atmosphere is a turn on for a man. He need not find yesterday’s evening dishes still in the sink. Wash his clothes, you don’t need to pile up his socks only to wash them after 2 weeks!
Cleanliness is next to Godliness. Let him miss home when he is away. Let him miss the comfort.

  • Adjust your expectations.

The best things in life are the unexpected. Learn to cut each other some slack.
Cut your man some slack. Have realistic expectations of each other.
There is a saying that goes, “Gratitude is the key to happiness and anything that undermines gratitude must undermine happiness” -And nothing undermines gratitude as much as expectations.
The more expectations you have, the less gratitude you will have.
Read the article- Marriage Probiotic!

  • Say “Am Sorry, can you forgive me”, Say “Thank you”, Say “Please”, ask “How are you love”? and FORGIVE!

We are all mortal, and, deep inside each and every one of us, is a need to be loved, cared for and to feel needed.
It’s always good to say am sorry and ask for forgiveness if your spouse feels aggrieved, you need not justify yourself.
There’s something that has aggrieved him/her, apologize. Say “thank you” for any effort that he/she has made in your marriage.
If he comes home earlier than usual, thank him, he wants to spend time with you. He changes your kid’s diapers, say thank you. As much as it’s a responsibility to both of you, he has helped.
He helps around the house, say thank you. Don’t just stretch yourself on the sofa without complementing him.
Thank him when he gets you your favorite yogurt, or crisps, you think it’s “kawa”? It’s not.
Don’t take anything in your marriage for granted. You want something to be done faster, add the word “please”. Works like a charm!
When he gets from work, ask him how he is. Don’t wait till he asks you first. Ask him how his day has been. Be his confidant, be his comforter, someone that he can come home to after a long day.
Learn to FORGIVE. I know we are more like the ROM memory, we record and record and record every single detail.
When hurt, we still keep those hurtful feelings inside of us.
The best way to free yourself from the hurt and the bitterness you feel towards your spouse, is to forgive them and let go.
If you don’t forgive, it is so comparable to a man drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.(I didn’t say so!)
Forgive and let go. It’s not easy but it’s achievable.

  • Pray, Pray and Pray

As a woman, I have learnt to fight my battles on my knees.
Sometimes you feel as if no one understands you, at times you may feel alone, but always remember that you have a Daddy in Heaven.
You have a Father in Heaven who hears your prayers and no tear that you shed goes to waste.
Pray for your husband when you feel that he doesn’t understand. Pray for him when he goes out daily.
Pray for him always. Pray for wisdom upon him so that he can lead you in the right path.
Pray that he will always be protected.
Pray that the Lord will give him a way out of every trial and temptation.
Pray that the Lord will guide his way and that he will not rely on his own understanding.
It’s not your work to fight or disrespect the man God gave you, you can’t win.
You will be emotionally wounded and scarred.
So instead of fighting him with words, fight on your knees girlfriend.
Trust me, it works! Nothing defeats prayer.
Nothing defeats a woman of prayer. You might feel deflated, but His strength will carry you through the storms.
#Marriageworks #Godspeed
Hope you have all been Blessed!!
Image Creative Commons by Konstantin

We are John and Mary Munene and we love the Lord! Christ is our all in all! All we are is by God’s grace. Apart from having our individual careers, we are ardent bloggers, authors and misters of God's word. We have been blessed with two amazing children. A beautiful daughter and a handsome son. We love adventure, anything with lots of adrenaline is always a ‘go-thing’ for us! A cup of coffee next to a fireplace and a good book always does good to our souls! Hope you enjoy this blog!

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We are John and Mary Munene and we…