Lately our days have been super busy, unpacking our 100th luggage of life, having conversations that deep, ruminative and very introspective.
It’s been part of our check up ever since. See, you cannot assume that as your spouse is the same person as they transit from one season to another. Failure at those crucial moments, those transitory moments, may mar the entire outcome of a marriage life.
If you are married, or soon to be married, you are discovering that your marriage isn’t your usual romance series or novel. Prince Charming, isn’t always charming, and Snow White, can be raging hot, red as scarlet. . .and no, life isn’t always like Star Wars.
Marriage is the union of two people who come together toting the luggage and baggage of life. You soon realize that days can be crazy or downright mundane. Often, too mundane. You begin to realize that those mundane moments are not necessarily as bad as portrayed, but that they can become doorways to great life insights or trailheads that redirect your paths.
Some of these moments will be self-evident, shining bright; others will be downright astonishing.
One thing however, remains certain. How we respond to these moments in marriage determines whether we stumble along separately or move forward together toward maturity. Maturity isn’t always bread and butter.
You begin to realize that your spouse’s shortcomings aren’t all about sin. Sometimes sin does occur, sometimes, they are playing to the Piper’s tune of human brokenness. We were all born in sin. Romans 3:23 says so. I guess that’s where the gavel lands.
Navigating through that terrain of brokenness and sin, is what yields to maturity. So marriage needs more than just unpacking bags and sorting through each other’s skeletons.
Johnny and I have had some marriage-defining moments where we just didn’t know what to do.
Those experiences have often determined our progress and sometimes, quite honestly, have marked points where we stunted in our growth. We have learned and still learning that falling in love is easy; remaining in love is something entirely different. Love is organic. It must grow or it will die.
We have learnt and are still learning that all the defining moments throughout marriage_ [moments where we went through financial loss, moments where we couldn’t see eye to eye, moments of pain, confusion and doubt, endured miscarriages, navigating parenthood as first time parents, et cetera,] are God things as well.
They were experiences or seasons in life when God presented and still presents a decision for truth, requires a cost, offers a Christ-exalting opportunity, grows the soul, and the determines our destination.
Those moments have made us grow, and this growth isn’t static. This growth is about applying truth over time; it’s a long, slow obedience. Never rushed. Always slow, steady and deliberate. It’s funny that the marriage suitcases are always there, sometimes tripping us, sometimes popping open unexpectedly and disgorging forgotten contents. . .
This is why, as we grow older together, we should be mature enough to embrace how the Gospel speaks not only to our sin but also to our suffering, weakness, family history, disappointed dreams, physical limitations, changes in sexual appetite, and any other area in our life that we seem to be falling short.
Endure together, but more so, thrive through it all.
A great awareness of one’s brokenness, often stands side by side with great joy and confidence in God. I want you to know that Jesus makes the difference for every moment, every year, every decade.
Consider this a check up. . .