Shepherding a Child’s Heart series – Unholy Anger

God has given the parents the authority to direct, correct, discipline nurture and admonish our children. In short, you (as a parent) are in charge under God’s command.

Easier said than done right?

In Ephesians 6:4 the Word teaches us to ‘…bring them up in the NURTURE and ADMONITION of the Lord.’

Nurturing refers the whole training and education of children (which relates to the CULTIVATION of mind and morals, and employs admonition and reproof. It also includes the training and care of the body. All these aim at increasing virtue, chastisement and chastening.
The Greek word for admonition is noutheteó.

It borrows from two words; ‘mind’ and ‘to place’ and therefore, ‘to place in the mind’.
We admonish our children by PLACING the right virtues IN their MINDS and HEARTS.

Think about how you acquired knowledge in school – there was a teacher, a board (for illustrations) and repitive sessions.
As the parent, you are the teacher.
You are to train and instruct, admonish and nurture them.
But again, you are different from the teacher in class.

The teacher in class is paid to do what he/she does. You don’t get paid.
He or she is acting on behalf of the government whereas you are acting on behalf of God.
The teacher gushes out knowledge but you instill morals, values, virtues and mould godly character.

There is a tendency of we parents getting angry when our children don’t follow our instructions to the latter.
We get frustrated when we don’t get what we want from our kids.

Consequently, we transfer the anger to them. We scold them hard, beat them and hurl destructive words unto these little young hearts. Some even cause bodily harm to them.
What a tragedy!

Many a times we do this subconsciously.
We think that descending our wrath on them will make them change. It becomes we versus them!

When we focus on what the child did instead of why he did it, we miss the mark.
‘What’ is corrected by unholy anger while ‘why’ is corrected by admonishing.

Unholy anger will not only muddy the waters of discipline but will also water down the gains of SHEPHERDING a child’s heart.

Anger caused by the premise that your child is not doing what you want frames discipline as a problem between parent and child, not as a problem between the child and God.
It is God who is not being obeyed when you are disobeyed.
It is God who is not being honored when you are not honored.

The issue is NOT an interpersonal contest, rather it is your insistence that your child obey God, because obeying God is the right thing to do.
I will tell you why; you are bringing up a child on behalf of God.

You are a parent with not only authority but also under the authority of Him who gave you the privilege.
Your actions are on behalf of God.
You have the right and mandate to act on behalf of God.

So my dear parent, keep your cool.
Do your work with the enablement of the One who gave you the mandate.
Keep the rod near you but use it as the Lord would use it.

Anytime you get angry when your child makes a mistake, pause for a little while.
Let the anger subside and engage your child from a neutral premise.

It will be more fruitful and fulfilling.



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