Today our 3 yo asked me if we could make dough and bake some cake. I told her it was a great idea and was quite excited to see what she’s got!
We started off very well but it turned out to be a face painting contest! She decided to smear my face with the dough and you can be sure I reciprocated with equal measure.
As a grown up, I would have loved if we went all the way with the original plan but her baby instincts carried the day. We both had fun and her day was made.
You see, that’s the real deal.
We get into the marriage institution with different expectations. We assume that the spouse you have been enjoined to will fulfill all your dreams and goals.
Sometimes our selfish desires get in the way and we choose our visions over our spouses. We choose our careers, passions, drives and jobs. Things become a priority!
We let the self get in the way.
Sadly, we end up finishing alone, and lonely!
The idea of marriage is finishing together. Getting there as one. Holding the trophy together. Getting the rewards as a team.
Sometimes the initial plan doesn’t work out.
Sometimes the laid down strategy does not see the light of day.
Our rigidity to accomplish the mission, with or without your spouse, breaks the marriage apart.
It’s better to yield and walk together instead of holding firm to your convictions and end up messing your precious relationship. Why win a contest and lose your lifetime companion?
It’s not worth it.
Her ideas might not be the best, your convictions may be solid but lack inclusivity, so why not compromise, agree and walk together? The tempo might be slow but there will be warmth in the marriage. The end state might be different but you will be there for and with each other.
When we value relationships more than things, life becomes bearable. When we focus on building and growing together, there is hope for the future.