4. Submission is deliberately deciding not to nag
We can nag. Women can nag. It reminds me of Samson and Delilah. The Bible says in
With such nagging she prodded him day after day until he was sick to death of it.
Day in day out she constantly bickered about Samson’s strength until he gave in and let his secret out. She nagged and nagged.
Nagging isn’t just voicing your concerns about something. I would say it’s voicing your concerns in a manner that harasses the other person.
The Bible says in Proverbs that it’s better to live in the desert, as wayfarer, under the scorching sun, than to live with a nagging woman.
Nagging can make your husband give in into your demands, just to keep the peace, or simply become more unyielding.
Either way, it will come at a cost.
If you use nagging as a tool against your husband to give in into your demands, your relationship will start having unseen leaks. He will distance his heart from you, after all, you are not his comfort but a “cancerous disease” as the Bible says.
Even if you are born again and your husband isn’t, you cannot pull him to Christ by pushing and prodding him relentlessly.
If you think changing his Super sport channel to Family TV will make him draw closer to Christ, then you are wrong!
Why not sit there with him, even the whole day. Get interested in what he is watching. Ask questions about the game. Be interested. It might not take 1 week, nor even a month, but sit there with him.
Get to know his interests. Time and chance will present itself, (Probably during half-time!), where you can share a story or two about a verse you read in the Bible.
Relate it to the game or whatever you are watching.
That’s how you draw attention to the direction you need him to go.
If your husband becomes passive because of your constant bickering, then know that you are subverting the authority and the covering that you should be under.
You are trending on a dangerous ground and he will soon find his way “up to the corner of the roof.” – Proverbs 25:2
5. Submission involves self-control
Titus 2:5…to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God.
I would like to refer again to Titus Chapter 2, verse 5.
Why does God call us to be self-controlled as wives?
We would think that self-control is only for the unmarried, but God makes it a point of extension to the married women too.
Self-control it the ability to control oneself, in particular, one’s emotions and desires, especially in difficult situations.
Therefore, God knew marriage has difficult situations and points.
Yes, it does. marriage has hard disappointing moments – moments that you wish that the ground would open up and literally swallow you!
For instance, if your husband openly discredits you, or he listens to his mother more than he listens to you, those just but a few to mention. Those are difficult situations and they call for a lot of wisdom and self- control on how to handle them.
Instead, the Lord calls us to have a meek spirit. One that is gentle.
Submission involves putting yourself under control, despite having a hard time.
Your heart would tell you to tell off this man for openly critiquing you, but a submissive quiet spirit, retreats back first.
You will not act out in haste.
You will keep yourself under control until you are back home then you can ask your husband, “Hunnie, did I do anything wrong?” “Because I felt that I might have offended you since you openly discredited me.”
That brings an atmosphere of dialogue instead of bashing him as soon as you walk into your house.
Is it easy. No its not, but the Bible says in Philippians 2:13 that “For it is God who works in you to will and to act in order to fulfill his good purpose.”
I like the International Standard Version translation that says,
For it is God who is producing in you both the desire and the ability to do what pleases him.
Submission is being under control of your emotions, because out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks. The heart harbors all emotions in us, and a careless word can break your marriage or cause scars that take a lifetime to heal.
If you bring your emotions under control, then you will be able to exude a spirit that attracts your husband.
A calmness that he knows he can only find in you.
Nothing is more attractive to a man than a gentle and quiet spirit.
I don’t mean a reserved personality. that’s not what the Bible refers to. You can be reserved but so harsh, combative and assertive to your husband and poison to his soul.
You can be so outspoken but be so calm and yielding to your husband.
Submission is not dependent on a personality or personality traits.
It is the attitude of your heart.
A woman with quiet spirit is one that knows above everything else, there is God who is more than enough to deal with her difficult husband.
A woman with a quiet spirit knows that she has enough strength to build, but she chooses to yield, and incline herself to her husband – not because she cannot be independent – but because she knows her purpose is bigger than herself, and it pleases the Lord.