Dear “my” Wife.
I write to you my sisters, because you are like me… I write to you dear wife, because we both know that it is our duty to pray for our spouses, and make our homes… I call you “my” Wife because we are of the same kind, and though you have never seen me, we are married to the same kind, we walk in the same way, only with different men…that chose the same kind of path.
So, allow me to call you “my” wife,
I know you don’t know me “my” wife, but we are bonded. Bonded by the sacred vows we took, bonded by whom we chose to marry.
I know you don’t know me “my” wife, but we are drawn together. Drawn together by the fact that we are both wives, of them that chose to walk the path of the selfless giving…selfless that they give their families as sacrifices too, as they willingly sacrifice themselves, for a world that knows too little of their lives, too little of what war is.
For a world where politics takes precedence before their lives. For a world where the mundane not celebrated, and individualism takes the starring role.
I know you don’t know me “my” wife, but we are blood sisters. Yes we are! Think about it…
I know you think that you are alone, but you are not…not in the years that we have here on earth…am with you, and we are like a myriad of stars, only that we dim out quite often than not…
I know you think that you go through the temptations alone, but you are not the only one…
I know you think that no one understands you, but I do, I really do. Remember, we are bonded.
I know you feel low and lonely at times, but so do I. The days can get really long, and consequently, our nights are the longest.
I know you cry yourself to sleep at night when praying…I do too, many times. In the morning, I too wake up to fix my eye bugs, and my swollen eyes.
I know you stare at the TV every day, every minute following the news keenly; probably we are even the best journalists!!
I know sometimes you switch everything off, you would rather be in the dark, it happens to me too. I would rather watch a series and pretend that I have forgotten, but truth is, it’s my everyday life, and I can’t shake it away…I learn to deal with it.
I know you are so confused at times and nothing makes sense, but you are not alone…the uncertainties outweigh everything else.
I know there are times you ask for a leave in the middle of a busy week, when your hubby is around, and your boss doesn’t understand the whys’…could they really?
I know you wish you could explain it all but they still can’t understand the whys’…or could they really understand?
But, “my wife”, let me make it easier for you… Of course it never gets easier, it will never get easier, but we try…and have to try harder…you have to wake up daily willing to give yourself to that man, sacrificially as he does…
He chose the path, you chose him, and so hold his hand, prop him up, and support him through… We really do try…and now am telling you to try harder “my” wife… Just like I am, every single day…
You and I know how precious it is to just hear his voice daily, at the end of the line… You and I know how 1 day seems like the whole year to us…
You and I know how spending just a few hours with him, seems like eternity… I know you try…but try harder…
Let us bear this cross, as the strong wives we are known to be…wives of the army men. Wives are strong, but we are stronger…
Wives are patient, but we are more than patient… Try harder to understand him…yes, I don’t understand too, plans can change as soon as you both get up. But, try harder… Just like I am…
Understand when he has to be away for 2 years or more. You will miss him. He will miss you too, but he is trying to make you happy. Y
our smile is all he has, as he carries that ‘big bag’ to go. So don’t let him leave when you are frowned up…I know you try… But try harder…
Try harder to give him your blessings when he has to miss your daughter’s birthday to be on duty… I know you try… But quit complaining… He is not away doing anything wrong, he is just fulfilling his duties, his mandate and certainly a calling.
I know he would give anything to be there as she takes her first baby steps, or say her first words like “tatiiii”-i.e. daddy. I know you try…but try harder…
Try harder to understand him when he can’t spend Christmas with you. I too have never had one…so release him, it will ease your “pain”, plus, His grace is what keeps us; the Lord’s grace is sufficient.
I know you try…but quit being manipulative…let him work in peace… Try harder, “my” wife.
Try harder to give him some peace when he comes home after being away for a while. I know you want him to pick up ASAP and get moving.
Let him find his footing… I know you try, but try harder…
Try harder to encourage him, we both know he needs your assurance, approval and trust more than ever… He needs not go to work with “makelele” ringing in his head, reminding him of his absence.
He knows he is, and it is not any easier, it is not his making, it’s just the way love so selfless is.
Please don’t make another woman encourage him…please don’t push him to hear any sweet words from another strange lady…I know you try…but try harder… Try harder to love him, even when you feel he least deserves it gal.
Be the first to open up your arms to him…I know sometimes it’s crazy, the long distance is ever weary, but hold onto love, hold onto your memories with him, hold onto his words and stop listening to any other discouraging whispers around you…I know you do try…but try harder gal…
Try harder not to compare him with another man who is always home…he is not him…and we both know they can never be home constantly… It’s part of their JD…but we married them…happily walking under the arc of sabres, what did you think that was? it calls for sacrifice.
Personally, it meant walking through the wire with him. There are times the world will be cluttering above me…making noise like those swords do, but together, we soldier on, step by step and step by step.
You are bonded… You share in his everything, so quit being critical of him dear… Instead, before he goes out, treat him with a 5 star course of TLC, he will sure come home!
Drug him and, saturate him with the highest concentrate mixture of love, he is your hubby right!? So love, don’t draw him out. He is not your neighbor’s man, deal with it! Then learn to encourage him…I know you try. But make it your ritual! Try harder.
Try harder to support him. Just support him. Sacrificial love is certainly not easy and many don’t know it…but he saw you fit to walk with him in his journey. Trust me, not many can make it through the lonely days. So, don’t let yourself down gal. Support him, the returns are far rewarding. Don’t grudgingly support him.
Support him and push him to be the best… Just try harder.
Try harder to adjust your expectations towards him. Honestly, your expectations should be from the Lord alone, Psalms 62:1-5.
Do not constantly hold a debt over his head, yet he cannot pay. Do not hold the debt of time against him. Do not let your expectations be a destructive force in your marriage.
I know it’s never easy, but circumstances shouldn’t separate you, career choices shouldn’t separate you, tragedy shouldn’t separate you. Tell yourself,” it is well with my soul”… Be as strong as him, even stronger.
Be his comfort and comforter. Be his coach and his greatest fan. Encourage him daily and be the prayer warrior in his life. Be his friend and confidant. Be his everything and anything in between.
Loving him is not hard, the sacrifices are, the worry is hard, but loving him is the easiest thing to do. So love him, unconditionally.
Dear “my “Wife, I understand you… I know you try… But try harder. Tell yourself” it is well, with my soul “…
To all army wives, it’s all well in the Lord.
Dear “my” Wife.