Fellow women, Fellow wife,
We are THE FAVOR FACTOR!
The Lord knows that and so does the accuser of all brethren – the devil. He knows how immensely God has gifted us but he too, has mastered the art of making us doubt our calling.
We walk as beggars, strained, trudging along others, shoulders bent with the weight of the world on us, and yet, God bestows immense favor on the men that are joined to us – because they found us!
We have been called to build our marriages and husbands, and we can be highly effective if only we realized that we have the power to make it so.
We are not gold-diggers, we are not drama queens, we are not for booty calls or titillation!
Any man out there who seeks you out and finds you, obtains favor. It’s all for the glory of the Lord! You are the favor factor in his life!
Independence is simply that, Independence. It’s not a ticket to being rude, but it’s a strength of which many of us do not know.
But most often than not, we spend so much time having our worth pegged on the type of men around us, what we get from them, what they buys us, where they take us.
Things and material gain(s) define us- and we forget that we are the favor factor in their lives!
You are the favor factor to your husband!
We really don’t realize the power we have as women!
The Bible says that whoever finds a wife, finds a good thing!
WE ARE THE FAVOR FACTOR ladies! Again and again!
We are the Mega Jackpot! The deal breakers! We are powerful.
We have so much power, yet we don’t use it! Instead we want control, are addicted to control, to a point that control ends up controlling us.
The moment you will realize that, you will not nag, you will not stoop, you will not be discouraged, instead, you will put on your costume, you will buckle up, take up your tools, and position yourself right in your marriage.
Don’t you know that a king isn’t a king without his crown?
A virtuous and excellent wife [worthy of honor] is the crown of her husband, But she who shames him [with her foolishness] is like rottenness in his bones.
1. THE POWER OF ENCOURAGEMENT AND COMFORT.
The power of encouragement from a wife to a masculine soul is so transformative. Nothing gets to them faster than an encouragement, a pat on the back, a kiss on the forehead that simply whispers “am proud of you.”
Proverbs 14:1 says,
The wise woman builds her house [on a foundation of godly precepts, and her household thrives], But the foolish one [who lacks spiritual insight] tears it down with her own hands [by ignoring godly principles].
The words here to underline are – a wise woman builds, a foolish one destroys. By IGNORING and NAGGING!
He is not good with shopping. He’s not good in welcoming the visitors. He’s not good with finances. He is not good in arranging stuff around the house. He’s not good enough.
Truthfully speaking, no one will ever be good enough, but everyone has something to be celebrated about.
He might not really be good at arranging stuff, but he is probably the greatest dad.
He might not be so good in planning, but his execution is flawless!
How about encouraging him?
We all know what’s needed for marriage to thrive. Of course some get in blindly, but we are always advised, yet we ignore.
We ignore the power of encouragement from us to our husbands and assume, well, he will pull through! “Whatever!”
A wise woman knows that her words build, not only spiritually, but they are highly effective in bringing out THE MAN FROM WITHIN!
The husband considers her as an asset and lacks no good thing!
Trust me, it’s hard to tempt a man whose wife has mastered the art of encouragement! Yes it’s true! He knows that he has an asset not a liability!
Men gravitate towards what is rewarded.
From my own experience, I can tell you that this is nothing but the truth.
You might tell me it’s simply encouraging him to be dependent on you entirely without his own intrinsic drive – and that’s not good!
Then I will ask you this, if that makes him a better person, is it a hard thing to do? If no bone is broken, if it simply improves instead of draining, then what is hard about it?
Let’s get our spines back. Put on your tutu skirt gal! Shake it all for your man!
I sure do know that because it transformed my marriage! I quit being a nag, and changed my job description to a dancer, his greatest cheerleader and fan!
You got the power of encouragement and of comfort!
His business deal has gone south, encourage him.
He is trying to lose weight, yet he still slips back to his ribs and junk, encourage him.
He has been laid off, encourage him.
By encouraging, I mean cheering him on. Reminding him of the giants he slew, reminding him that he is great man of valor and you know that it’s just a temporal set back.
By reminding Him of God’s promises to him.
Look at Manoah’s wife!
The Bible says in Judges 13:21-23
The Angel of the Lord did not appear again to Manoah or his wife. Then Manoah knew that he was the Angel of the Lord . So Manoah said to his wife, “We will certainly die, because we have seen God.”
But his [sensible] wife said to him, “If the Lord had desired to kill us, He would not have received a burnt offering and a grain offering from our hands, nor would He have shown us all these things, nor would He have announced such things as these at this time.”
Manoah panicked and overreacted after realizing that all that time, he was conversing with the angel of the Lord. He had no idea it was an angel – instead said that he was God.
But the Bible calls Manoah’s wife sensible. She was there with him and was immediately attuned to her husband’s fears. He feared that he would die.
She didn’t blast him, calling him unreasonable, telling him how stupid could he be that he couldn’t differentiate between an angel and God.
She encouraged him with her kind words. She was his comfort when he felt distressed.
Our mouths, our words have so much power. The power of encouragement from a wife to a husband is enough to break his tough ego into smithereens.
He will be vulnerable to her, open and stripped.
Do you desire that in your marriage?
Be your husband’s greatest fan. He doesn’t need another woman encouraging him. Let him rest his head on your lap and remind him that he is great!
Do not give the devil that chance of finding comfort at another woman’s bosom!
Don’t drive him up the corner of a rooftop simply because you are like a leaking faucet.
You are the favor factor! Live up to it!
Unleash your POWER OF ENCOURAGEMENT!
2. THE POWER OF SUBMISSION.
Women don’t like this topic. Yet you cannot do marriage devoid of submission.
We have been conditioned by the world to think submission is a disease, a malady, a weakness, a fault, a flaw, a plague that engulfs women’s minds and makes them move around like zombies!
We think submission means “loosing” ones-self. Sadly, marriage has been diluted, perverted and corrupted.
There is such a deep chasm between what the Lord says and what the world says!
This is urgent ladies! Submitting in our marriages is urgent. The power of submission does change.
Berlin notes teach women to be “equal to men! ”
Feminist argue against marriage – that it makes a woman less of who she is.
Ofcouse, being in a patriarchal society, men have also been conditioned to think and act in a certain way towards women!
It’s a sad state of affairs! But our Lord doesn’t live by the set man made laws.
His law is immutable, while the rest are just but shifting sands!
So when the Lord says every good and perfect gift comes from Him, it’s absolute! Marriage included. It’s good!
When the rhythm is mastered, marriage is the most fulfilling relationship.
That doesn’t negate any season that we find ourselves in. Singleness, has its gains and convenience too.
Therefore , when the Lord says to us – the women, “submit in your marriage”, it’s not a dent! It’s not a fault. It’s not a typo error. It’s good, God’s good, for His good and most certainly, for our good too!
He was not wrong, or had a chronic amnesia!
He knew what the power of submission could do.
It’s a lethal weapon! It’s dangerous to the devil and all his demonic plans against a family, and he knows it – but he plants doubts in our minds! “If I submit, my husband will make me a doormat! ”
Submission is non reversible.
Our perfect example is Christ. He submitted Himself to the will of His father. Came down and died on the cross for our sins.
He went ahead and prayed in Luke 22:42
Father, if you are willing, please take this cup of suffering away from me. Yet I want your will to be done, not mine.
He prayed for His fathers will to be done. This was the highest form of submission. It’s powerful!
Submission is simply inclining yourself to your husband’s will. It’s yielding control to him – since you have it – but you give it to him instead. It’s having a willful disposition to your husband’s leadership.
Trust me, it’s not easy. More so when you are “independent” or know that a certain recourse he is taking is wrong. It’s easy to bash him, and further “justify yourself” if his way fails.
But what does submission do?
Well to begin with, submission doesn’t make you lose your uniqueness.
The Bible says in Proverbs 24:3-6
Through [skillful and godly] wisdom a house [a life, a home, a family] is built,
And by understanding it is established [on a sound and good foundation]
And by knowledge its rooms are filled With all precious and pleasant riches.
Understanding is a foundation that should, and continues to anchor a marriage.
Your husband knows that you have dreams, aspirations and goals. With understanding, both of you can sit down and make your own road map.
I have seen women support their husbands and finally, they still got to do their PHDS’.
I have seen husbands support their wives and at the same time took care of the children.
It depends with what both of you have in mind as a vision for your family.
But, behind the scene of every marriage, is a woman who yielded enough to cause her husband’s heart to turn towards her too. Behind the faithful, loyal, straight, strong willed, powerful man, is a submitted woman.
The power of submission is a catalyst for change to any masculine being!
If you are not ready to submit, please don’t get married. It’s that plain. It won’t work.
Submission is not a blind following, actually submission, is following with your eyes wide open! Fully aware of the surrounding!
You are sober, alert and discreet!
The expression of “submission” at the highest level is having the inclination and disposition to willingly support your husband not through coercion, but through love.
A wife’s submission is characterized by prayerfully encouraging her husband to move in the God given direction over their family.
You are to remain sensitive to his needs, looking for every opportunity to minister to your husband (be it in prayer, serving him or by encouraging him.)
Remember, you are doing this wisely. Wisely in sense that you are not to mechanically obey, but at the same time not demand of him to change his course.
Look at Nabal’s wife, Abigail!
The Bible says in 1st Samuel 25 that Abigail was wise and beautiful!
Wait a minute ladies! Abigail was beautiful but a submissive wife too! So beauty is never a caveat for hard-headedness in marriage!
If you think you have a fool of a husband, I think Abigail’s husband was worse. His name didn’t make things easier. Nabal was his name.
He didn’t honor authority.
He was a drunk self aggrandizing man! Yet Abigail subverted a calamity that would have befell her household.
David, the King of Israel then, was ready to obliterate them all.
She packed up enough gifts to appease him and ran over to David, fell at his feet and pleaded on behalf of her foolish husband.
David’s heart changed! How amazing!
God honored her and killed Nabal! That was the power of submission at work.
Was her marriage easy? No! Am sure she had suitable suitors who were willing to treat her right.
Am sure she was highly encouraged to leave Nabal by her fellow women, but she choose to honor her vows, and God honored her.
Am not encouraging you to stay in a marriage where you are abused, beaten or are threatened by death. Please seek help as you are safely away. Don’t die in the name of “my marriage. ”
Am talking to you, who is really hard-headed and want your way in your marriage.
You who constantly reminds your husband of his failures.
You who nags and tries to fix your way.
You who doesn’t forgive and prolongs an argument for weeks and months.
You who doesn’t know that you are wasting your power of submission on non issues!
A woman who understands her power of submission, gives her husband respect, challenges his masculinity into godliness and admires him.
A woman who understands her power of submission, carefully corrects her husband and shows her vulnerability to him so as to affirm his confidence in whatever he undertakes to do.
The power of submission cannot be overstated nor overrated. It’s a power that can change the heart of any husband.
The bible says that ungodly husbands are won over by a woman’s godly behavior – it is the power of submission at work!
The power of submission does not merely fit a woman into a role in marriage, but is a unique gift and power presented to you and me, by God, to give to our spouses what they most long for from us.
The power of submission changes the heart!
You are the favor factor! Live up to it!
Unleash your POWER OF SUBMISSION!
Fellow women, Fellow wife,