I know it’s Valentine’s day. Social media, is awash with lovebirds splashing all kinds of mushy words to each other – I have too! It’s one of those greatly loathed days among them in the season of singleness. I totally understand that feeling.
Probably you are going through a break up, or maybe you have never even had one. Probably you are sited on the wish seat thinking, “If only someone could give me a single rose flower, whisper words of love to me, go all out for me”. I know there are a couple of you out there, if not thousands.
I understand that feeling. Am not unfamiliar to it. I remember seeing the streets painted red with roses, walking past couples who seemed quite happy with each other, hand in hand and my heart choked with feelings of envy, loneliness and some pain – literal pain. Valentines was other day to hate on!
See, you now, like me then, have our gaze low. Have you thought about God’s gifts? Like seriously thought through what gifts He gives? Those that he gives unreservedly?
We are very quick to “capture” prosperity blessings, those that tell us how by next year a time like this, we will be married, with two kids, living a life larger than our paychecks…but!
Yes! I do not underestimate the God who gives and blesses, but He, the same God uses pain too, places and times of anguish to level out our rough edges.
Often, and more so from my experience, God uses pain to draw attention to something larger and of more importance than us, our feelings, our place, our situations or our circumstances. He uses a place of discomfort to draw us out of ourselves, to Himself.
This is not a call to chide you into “not feeling” alone, but it’s a call to channel those feelings to one who gives contentment in every situation of our lives. Singleness is one of those unwarranted times.
Marriage isn’t a panacea for loneliness. It doesn’t cure loneliness. There are many married couples, who are married by the societies standards, but are alone in their union. They would wish to be out. They would trade in with you, anytime, but might not be at liberty to.
So here is the word. Contentment. Contentment is a place that God brings you to amidst your glaring circumstances or your loneliness, Its a place of TRUST in the giver of all good gifts. After all, do we get to choose gifts?
His best for you now, is this, your singleness.
Paul says in Philippians 4:11-13 am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all this through him who gives me strength.
Paul says that he has learnt the secret of being content in any and every situation – singleness included, but the truth is, most are not. Most people are not content in that season. Therein lies the pot of all bitterness.
Godliness with contentment is a great gain. The gain might not come now, you might walk in it through months, probably years, but the gain will come.
It is highly unlikely that God is that sadistic to withhold any good thing from you –including marriage.
He made marriage. But the God who gifts us with marriage, is the same gracious God who gifts us with the gift of singleness, a time to re-focus on Him. God’s best for you today, is the season of singleness and getting the most out if it will prove far worthy than spending so much time wallowing on your whys’ and whens’.
Understanding this gift of singleness this Valentine’s day, is understanding that your focus to Him, to serve Him, to be devoted to Christ more than finding your answers as to why you are still single now, is the only conduit of overflowing joy in the season.
That truth is vividly colorful in marriage. You cannot not serve and expect an abounding joy. Joy comes from servitude, not Lordship. The greatest has to be the least.
When you yield your heart to serve Him, when you lift your gaze to a higher purpose than getting married, when your heart is turned to Him and joy begins to flow, then you begin to realize that God cannot be any less good to you now, than He was on the cross.
You will be able to see that every good and perfect gift comes from him even if it doesn’t come as rose bouquet, packets of chocolate, music that serenades you and possibly, a diamond ring.
Discontentment will not find its foothold in you – and you will celebrate this day, not as an emotional martyr, but with gladness of heart and levity, knowing that you are loved immensely by Him who thinks highly of you than anyone else. Christ has your best interests at heart. Be patient in Him.
Singleness in Christ…