WHEN should a parent begin talking to their little ones about SEX?
This is a serious question, in light of the video that’s circulating showing children being so visibly unashamed of the sexual acts they were engaged in, possibly because that’s what has been modelled to them.
Remember that they [children] pick up what we do and not what we say.
We believe that as soon as a child begins to talk, and can communicate well that he or she needs to go to the loo to poo or pee, the SEX talk should begin.
It’s something that we have done actively even with our little one.
See, SEX talk is progressive. It’s not a one time thing nor is there a cast on stone way to begin, but one thing that remains, is that it should begin.
Not in puberty, way earlier, much earlier than that.
Of course you cannot begin to tell a 3 year old that SEX should be in marriage. They don’t get that.
But as soon as they can say, “Daddy or Mommy I want to pee”, take them to the loo.
Do not religate that role to your help, unless there’s no way around it, like when you’re away for work. But as soon as you get back, become the parent.
As they pee, tell them that is called a private part. No funny names. No.
Tell them that it’s called a private part and there’s a reason it’s called so. It’s meant to be PRIVATE, FOR HIM OR HER.
Tell them that God made them that way, if it’s a boy, as a boy and he’s special, if it’s a girl, and she’s special.
Tell them that there’s no superior gender, and none is special than the other.
God made them so because He has a special assignment for them in future, as a boy if he’s a boy or a girl, if she is.
Tell them that God loves them as they are.
Tell them that no one should touch their private parts and it’s not a toy to play with because It’s a special part.
You can extend to the chest if it’s a girl. Tell her that she will one day have breasts like for Mommy and so she should not let anyone play with her chest too.
Then the mouth is also another private part, it shouldn’t kiss anyone on the lips, but Mommy and daddy can kiss their cheek or the forehead.
Tell them that God wants them to honour Him by taking care of their bodies by being clean, and neat.
Tell them that walking around naked doesn’t honour God.
Tell them that they can only honour God if they keep away from watching cartoons, or programs, or music that has naked people, because that keeps their inside clean.
A 3 year old understands that talk.
They might ask WHY no one should play with it. You can explain it’s because it’s a special gift from God… and they should protect it, just like they protect their special cup, or plate or anything else they hold as special.
As they grow, the conversations will become more solid and hard, but talk about it anyway.
The good thing is that you laid a foundation already.
So parents should stop leaving the hard work of parenting to house helps.
A house help or a nanny might not teach your child, and they don’t. They won’t. They are not paid to teach virtues to your children, it’s your RESPONSIBILITY AS A PARENT.
They want to wipe the poo off and it check out from their to-do list.
But if you begin the talk early with your child, even if the help will be inappropriate with your child, he or she will be able to tell you, “Daddy, or Mommy, auntie was playing with my private parts.”
When watching cartoon, and something inappropriate pops up, don’t just switch the TV or change the channel off without telling them why.
Tell them that this song isn’t right because it has a,b,c.
Train them to ask, “Mommy or Daddy, is this good to watch?”
Remember the Bible says that discernment is trained by practicing to distinguish between right and wrong. Being training their Faith muscles when they are tender and help them prime their ears to God.
Remind them that the audience have in our homes is the Lord, we are just but auxiliary as the parents, and Jesus always smiles when they do good.
Above all, model what you want exemplified. You cannot ask them not to walk naked, while you walk naked around the house.
You cannot tell them not to watch some programs, yet you are always remote on with Soap operas or programs that are sexually charged.
You cannot tell them not to grind on to certain music and that’s what you listen to end to end.
You reproduce after your own kind.
Then God said,” Let the earth bring forth …….that yields seed and the fruit tree that yields fruit according to its kind, whose seed is in itself, on the earth” it was so. (Gen. 1: 11)
The fruit will replicate the seed and that fruit will reveal who you really are to the core.
You want godly children, be godly. Want prayerful children, be prayerful.
They will one day get to sit down at the table and sign off their lives. They will one day exercise their free will to choose their path, but it will be comforting to know that you planted the FIRST SEED, the seed of Christ, you taught them to know the SAVIOURS VOICE.
That voice will always call them yonder.
What the Lord begins, He sustains, and He perfects for His glory.
SEX talk shouldn’t wait till puberty. No. Start the foundation NOW and build on it.