WHY GRANDPA & GRANDMA NEVER DIVORCED – PART 1
Marriages are under threat in recent times more than ever before.Shocking revelations in the current statistics paint a grim picture of this wonderful yet most misunderstood institution of marriage.
Some marriages are surviving, others are thriving, others are battling undercurrents which are working against their existence.
My grandma rested when she was full of years. This was a few years after grandpa breathed his last. The other day I went upcountry and their graves are still a meter apart. Even in death, they were buried by their children, besides each other!
I had a moment right there. I paused and pondered.
What glue stuck them together for all those years?
They didn’t have the technology we have today, there were no manuals or books about singleness, courtship, marriage and all resourceful literature we have today.
They never used cellphones to keep tabs on each other.
There were no video calls.
They cared less about what was trending.
I bet their stories spanned from which cow gave birth to when the next rains would fall.
They never had personality and compatibility tests!
They died not knowing whether they were Sanguine, Choleric, Melancholic, Ambiverts or Phlegmatic. None of the men understood his archetype!
But surprisingly, their MARRIAGE WORKED!
It worked from inception till death parted them, in their old age!
Funny enough, they followed each other to the grave. I guess they were still pursuing each other, hahaa.
What made their marriage work?
Is there something we can borrow from them?
I bet there are a thousand lessons, fundamental principles and facts that kept their marriages thriving.
It’s about time we learn a few.
1. First, they got into marriage, HEAD FIRST!
The young lady knew that marriage is a lifetime commitment. The man understood that there was no turning back!
Each one had the mindset of a LIFETIME.
No one had a back up plan.
Marriage was the ultimate endeavor.
There was no looking sideways or over their shoulders.
Plan A was to work their marriage. Plan B was to put some work their marriage. Plan C was to make their marriage work. If plan A failed, they had plan B and C, which could still sustain them.
They were in it for life and because of this, they put in all they got. They PREPARED not only for the ceremony but for the life after ‘I do’.
They involved their parents and guardians, they amassed knowledge and wisdom, they had the right attitude and were ready for the transition and transformation.
The man was mentored by respectable older men (not social media). The lady was taught by the elder women (not socialites and wannabes).
They had a glimpse of what lies across the bridge and they were ready for it.
The man was ready and willing to leave his home, parents and all to go and start a new life, a family and a legacy. He was willing to CLEAVE to his new found love and lifetime companion.
The beautiful lady couldn’t wait to be a wife, to be the helper, to build her own beautiful family. It didn’t matter the location or proximity to a thriving community. As long as he was with her, she was just fine!
But here we are today.
Where did we go wrong?
A double minded person is unstable in all his dealings.
When you put one foot in marriage, you will never stand. The ground is different on both ends. You will divide your energy, love, efforts, commitment, attention and strength between two masters. You can’t please both. You can’t serve two masters.You better be on either of singleness or marriage. Respect lanes and stick to one.
Why should you hurt the other person by giving partially and selfishly?
Why destroy a soul, shutter someone’s future, waste someone’s life because of your indecisiveness?
Is that back up plan necessary? Those ties that you have not cut off, are they for the good of your marriage?
Marriage is beautiful, it’s honorable and fulfilling.
Give it your all or nothing at all.