2. They Knew Their Place in Marriage!
My grandpa was a loving husband and great man at the same time. I could see how he effortlessly exemplified true masculinity and leadership.
His endeavors didn’t stiffle the wife of his youth.
He balanced family, faith(whatever he believed in), and his work.
Though he was ‘old fashioned’, his wife thrived under his leadership and care.
I remember he used to refer to grandma as ‘mwenye boma’, the owner of the home. One day, another woman tried to come in between them and he firmly told her ‘huku kuna mwenyewe, tafuta kwingine’, i.e. ‘this home is occupied, it has its owner, look elsewhere’!
He knew his place in the marriage and didn’t compromise his grounds.
He was a King, a Priest and a great Lover!
A king provides, protects, administers and leads. He leaves a legacy that will outlast him. A king conquers, he is a warrior who trains and grooms young men to become better than him.
A priest spiritually leads the family. Guiding them and at the same time protecting them from foreign doctrines.
A lover loves, shields, nurtures and looks into the interest of the other.
Grandpa did not forget his wife at any given time.
When they slaughtered a ram in the company of men, he knew the parts that belonged to the wife and unashamedly carried a piece to her. That was love. Nowadays a man will eat pizza in his car, alone, and not leave a piece for the wife. Sad.
Grandma knew her place in the marriage.
She had come to HELP the man accomplish his vision. She knew and understood that she was a wife.
She acknowledged the headship of the husband and respected it!
She came ready to submit.
She came, dressed as a homemaker and never took off these garments.
Nowadays, men see marriage as a matter of roles and responsibilities rather than a lifetime commitment to God.
Roles are acted.
Taking responsibility is the dutiful act of doing something out of an obligation.
As a man, if you always feel obligated to do things for your wife and kids, there’s hurricane headed your way.
Your love and desire to please them should be the driving force. Wanting the best for them and giving them the best are two different things. Give your best. Love them, withholding nothing.
Don’t just be an actor in a marriage play.
You are not a role player in a cast.
You are not a machine.
You are a husband and a father.
The head offers foresight, guidance and vision. Upon it rests wisdom, knowledge and discernment.
The woman easily submits to such headship.
If she is led well, she will build your home.
So Mr, garner the right raw materials for your wife to build with.
If you bring her dishonor, insults, physical and emotional abuse, hatred and quarrels, as sure as the sunrise, that’s what your home will be built with.
Bring her praises, appreciation, love, warmth, nurturing and everything nice and you will enjoy comfort and tranquility.